I don't know how you put up with me.

I'm willing to bet you $100 bucks any of you knew what I was thinking the last few months of school. Besides "I can't wait to get out of school". That is what EVERY kid was thinking. Additionally, I was thinking about how I couldn't wait to hang out with everyone I wanted to, to make up for the time we couldn't have during the school year.

Well, now I have it and I haven't done a darn good thing with it.

I haven't hung out nearly as much with everyone as I wanted to. There was so much I wanted to accomplish this summer and I haven't accomplished any of it. I wanted to get together with Alyssa and story plot and look at music stuff, but have I? Sure…on June 11th. It's July 18th, and I haven't talked to her since. Oh wait…that's a lie. I've seen her twice since then, but we were at the movie theatre, watching Wolverine and 17 Again. I briefly talked to her a couple of weeks ago to see if the movie for that night was still on. But that was only a 2 minute conversation.

I wanted to have sleep over parties galore. Yeah, hasn't happened at all. With anyone.

The same thing goes for Janell. Yes…we've gotten together a little more than Alyssa and I have, but I feel as if I'm just not calling you enough or invite you to places with me. I'm at a loss for myself.

Am I a terrible friend?

Yes, yes I am.

1. is hot
2. it's off season here
3. it's humid
4. the pool is beastly
5. it's hot
6. snorkeling at red reef park was coolio, i saw a baracuda which was scary cool
7. people like to honk their car horns a loooooooooooootttt here
8. flordians are terrible drivers--makes wisconsin drivers look safe
9. air conditioning is my bff
10. they have nifty giftstores with nifty stuff in said nifty giftstores
11. family pictures in the hot air = not so fun. lots of people cramed together with 7 kids ages 2 1/2 to 9 years in the front row. yeah, they got crabby
12. it's hot/humid
13. it's rained ONCE which is both good and bad. Good = LESS humid than it already is. Bad = florida thunderstorms are extremely beastly and we've had only a baby thunderstorm.
14. beach is literally across the street. kinda like ~B00kw0rmGirl's "Undeniable" story
15. i inhaled a little bit too much salt water while snorkeling
16. i don't want to leave

and you know what sucks? i have to come home tomorrow which is going to be the longest traveling-by-plane day i've ever had. 2 connections with our flight leaving from Fort Lauderdale sometime after 11:00am [meaning we have to return the rental car and get to the airport an hour before the flight AND be out of the hotel before 10 which really won't be a problem but STILL that means we have to get up early (AGAIN)] and we won't get to the home airport until 8 something pm meaning we won't really get home until 9ish because the home airport takes friggin' F O R E V E R to retrieve luggage.

it'll be interesting to see how ~deathsox took care of meh kitty. meh kitty greatly dislikes ~deathsox so...yeah, do the equation there. he he he.

did i mention we have all of this food that we have to eat/milk to drink????

I don't understand people. Seriously. I thought all of this angst crap was put behind us in January, but obviously I have been proven wrong. I try, when given the opportunity, to fix problems with friends. But I can't fix anything if I don't even know what's going on in the first place. Yes, this year has sucked and has soared off the 'this stinks' graph that I thought was possible for a span of nine months...but I don't think I've ever seen so much drama with a small group of personal friends before. Yes, we've drifted...a lot. But that's life. Hopefully things will change this summer but I can't promise anyone anything. But if people are going to get upset over tiny, insignificant details of life, get over yourself.

I'm done. I'm not dealing with this crap anymore.

Emily Dickinson = bad.
I think it's just me, but I can't understand what she's trying to get across other then death and angst. Really, my level of focus on these questions is slimming down by every question.

At least I cleaned my room...I have carpet!! Haven't found any money though...

This is what happens. You draw. You read. You draw and you realize that you've missed seeing something cool looking comes from your mind to paper. You read and you instantly wonder why you've put your books on hold to write in the first place. I did both in the past two weeks and I was brought back to the good old days when I thought that I sucked at writing and reading and drawing were what I did best. Now it's a competition of the three to grab my attention. That and having to do homework time as well. Spring Break = not soon. Crap.

So on a drawing note...I totally had this amazing picture that I was going to use for the "Thanks for the hits". It's amazing, really, I'm like, in love with it right now. So how does that coincide with this journal you ask? Because I'm not posting the picture tonight seeing that I don't have it offically done. But I suppose I could post the line art...

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So, why is whenever you draw something you either love it immediately or you hate it? Or when you start off loving it and then you look at it later and see a few errors you made you suddenly hate that picture and wonder how you could have screwed up on something like that?? Idk, it happens with me sometimes.